


Breakfast of Champions

by YumeKoe



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-10-18
Updated: 2010-10-18
Packaged: 2017-10-12 18:25:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/127754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeKoe/pseuds/YumeKoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack one-shots based around different Prince of Tennis characters and American breakfast cereals. Warning: Involves terrible puns and bad use of slogans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Golden Grahams

Characters: Oishi Shuuichiro & Kikumaru Eiji  


Disclaimer:

"Prince of Tennis" belongs to Konomi-sensei.

"Golden Grahams" is a brand of breakfast cereal owned by General Mills.

* * *

 **Golden Grahams**

Oishi Shuichirou arrived early that day at the Kikumaru household to meet his good friend and doubles partner for their usual walk to school. He was greeted warmly at the front door by Eiji's mother, who welcomed him in to wait for her son.

"He's running a little late today and is still eating breakfast," she said. "But you can go into the kitchen and hurry him along if you'd like." She gave him a conspiratorial wink, making her seem a near duplicate of his red-headed friend, before she gently directed him toward the kitchen.

He politely thanked her and made his way into the familiar setting. Knowing Eiji and his large family, he was expecting some kind of grand westernized breakfast of eggs, pancakes, and bacon. Instead, he was surprised to find his partner all alone, happily munching on what looked like standard breakfast cereal.

Upon further scrutiny, not having yet been detected by the happily eating boy, he saw the box of cereal on the counter and his eyes widened. The "Golden Grahams" stood proudly, 'crammed with Graham,' proclaiming their golden honey goodness, making people wonder why exactly 'the Ridges Rocked,' but to Oishi only one thought came to mind.

Is he eating 'Golden Grahams' because of us? Because we're the 'Golden Pair?' His cheeks took on a slight red hue and he cleared his throat which alerted his presence to the other boy.

"OISHI!" Eiji proclaimed happily, nearly bouncing off his chair to greet him with a morning glomp. When had he finished his cereal? "When did you get here? Sorry for making you wait! Let me just grab my bag!" With the usual Kikumaru grin in place, he rushed off to collect his things before there was even a chance to respond.

During their walk to school, in the midst of Eiji's usual cheerful chitchat, Oishi was lost in thought. Should he just let his curiosity out and ask? Find out if there was any significance to the "Golden Grahams" his friend had been so enthusiastically eating? Maybe he was just over-analyzing and his friend just liked the taste of golden honey? Seriously, how did they cram all that graham into "Golden Grahams?"

"Mou~! Oishi~i!" whined Eiji. "Are you even listening? What are you thinking so hard about? You're so quiet this morning!"

"Eh!" Oishi stopped, startled. His friend had stopped walking and was now standing in front of him, blocking his path with both hands on his hips and cheeks puffed out in a cute pouty expression. "Oh, nothing important," he said. "What were you saying?"

Eiji gave him a confused look, but then he turned around and continued his one-sided conversation.

Maybe it did mean something. Maybe there was a deeper meaning here that he didn't understand. Had Eiji purposely been eating "Golden Grahams" late that morning so he, Oishi, would see him? His expression was clouding and his heart rate was speeding up. If he didn't say anything, maybe Eiji would take that as him not caring! What if this ruined their partnership? Or even their friendship! All because he couldn't find the nerve to ask him about his breakfast cereal!

"OSHIIIIIII~!" A flick to the forehead by a very grumpy looking redhead knocked him out of his thoughts. "What's wrong? Why are you ignoring me!"

"Eiji, why were you eating 'Golden Grahams' this morning?" The question was out before he could stop it and he waited with baited breath for the answer.

His friend's eyes grew twice their size (which was a feat, since Eiji's eyes were already quite large in an adorable kind of way) and laughter burst forth from him. He clutched at his stomach as if trying not to fall over on the curb with giggles. "HA HA! You were... ha ha ha... thinking about my cereal?"

The red in his cheeks was returning as Oishi stammered out, "Well, they were called… 'GOLDEN Grahams'… and... uh… I thought maybe you were eating them because… well… we're the Golden Pair… and I…" He suddenly thought the pavement was very interesting.

"Awww~! That's AWESOME! I never thought of that before, but you're right! 'Golden Grahams' should be our official cereal now!" He continued forward with a huge smile on his face and a small bounce added to his steps. "Since we're the Golden Pair, 'Not eating them would be a Graham-atical error!'"

"Eiji… that doesn't make any sense," he corrected softly, but his embarrassment was all but gone now, to be replaced with a fond smile as he watched Eiji be, well… Eiji. "So… we're good then?"

Eiji laughed some more and turned to him with a smile like sunshine. "We're not just good, we're Golden!"

* * *

General Mills tag slogans:

"You're not just good, you're golden."

"Crammed with Graham"

"With Ridges that Rock!"

"Not eating these would be a Graham-atical error!"

  



	2. Froot Loops

  


Characters: Mizuki Hajime & Fuji Yuuta

Disclaimer:

"Prince of Tennis" belongs to Konomi-sensei.

"Froot Loops" is a brand of breakfast cereal owned by Kellogg's.

* * *

 **Froot Loops**

Yuuta's mouth opened wide in a loud yawn as he made his way into the common room of the dormitory, still in his blue and white striped pajamas and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. It was eight o'clock on a Saturday morning. He had no idea why Mizuki-san had knocked on his door half an hour ago, requesting (aka: demanding) his presence. If it had been anyone else, he would have either cursed up a storm or just rolled over and ignored them. However, it was Mizuki-san, which meant it was either important or he could sleep through it anyway.

Entering, he saw Mizuki-san sitting at a small table in the center of the room. "Good morning, Yuuta~kun! So nice to have you join me this morning," he said, with a smile on his face.

Yeah, Yuuta knew that smile very well. He should probably turn right around and go back to bed. Mizuki-san was sitting back and looking him up and down while twirling his hair around a finger maniacally. Yuuta was still convinced it was almost as creepy as when Aniki opened his eyes.

Despite all this, being only half-conscious and being Fuji Yuuta, he didn't have the proper mental defenses to think it might be a good idea to run. Maybe that was part of Mizuki-san's sinister plan. Oh well, in any case, he dragged himself over and collapsed into a chair next to him, blearily looking over to see what he was doing.

"Huh?" There were colorful little rings spread out all over the table, along with some thread and scissors. A masochistic part of his brain made him hazily compare them to one of Mizuki-san's shirts that all the colors together resembled. He blearily wondered if it was too late to heed the earlier warnings of the conscious part of his brain.

"Mizuki-san…." he began, then yawned again, this time remembering to cover his mouth, "Why did you make me wake up so early on a weekend, and why are there colorful rings on the table?"

"Why, Yuuta~kun, I can't believe you even have to ask. These are Froot Loops, a fruity delight in every bite and a nutritious part of your complete breakfast." It was said with that teasing, sinister smile still on his face and in a completely serious tone, as if Yuuta was an idiot for not already knowing such obvious data. Even half asleep, he still had the self-preservation to lean back in his chair as far away as possible.

Then Mizuki-san giggled. GIGGLED. "Come now~! Follow your nose to the fruity flavors of berry, orange, cherry, and lime." So saying in a suggestive tone (though he had no idea what he was suggesting), he picked up one of the little loops and pressed it to Yuuta's lips.

His lips automatically parted and he accepted the sugary confection into his mouth… which tasted absolutely nothing like fruit.

Mizuki-san seemed quite pleased with himself. "Nfu, nfu, nfu…" he laughed. "What do you think? Isn't there a fruity delight in every bite?"

Now that he looked, he could see the shirt Mizuki-san was currently wearing also had enough color to make the fruit rings-circles-whatever-thingies jealous. And was he wearing a necklace and earrings made of them? Er… Maybe that was just the froot loops messing with his head. Well... Aniki had cacti, Mizuki had colorful-not-so-actually-fruity-cereal... or something. He nodded and reached forward and ate another off the table.

He must have caught him looking because he asked, with unsettling amusement in his voice, "Do you like what you see, Yuuta~kun?"

"It's fruity." They were the first words that popped into his head.

"Nfu, nfu, nfu… My dear Yuuta~kun, are you calling me fruity?" He could have sworn there was little twitch to his team manager's eye.

"Uhhh…."

"How very observant of you... I'm the new fruit taste you dream about!"

Yep, it was definitely time to go back to bed.

* * *

Kellogg's tag slogans:

"A fruity delight in every bite and a nutritious part of your complete breakfast."

"Follow your nose to the fruity flavors of berry, orange, cherry, and lime."

"The new fruit taste you dream about."

  



	3. Special K

Character: Atobe Keigo

Disclaimer:

"Prince of Tennis" belongs to Konomi-sensei.

"Special K" is a brand of breakfast cereal owned by Kellogg's.

This chapter is 'tongue in cheek,' for those people who might not understand the humor.

* * *

 **Special K**

Atobe Keigo had always known he was special.

He was so special in fact, there was even a breakfast cereal named after him.

It may be a commoner's food and normally such things were beneath him, obviously, but it would have been cruel of him not to support the morning meal that was named so fittingly after him.

When he'd been a mere child, every morning his mother would dine with him for breakfast, spending her precious time teaching him essential lessons, important for those of their class. Of course, these lessons included even the most seemingly minute aspects of life. For being utterly perfect in every respect did not always come as easy as some might think.

Special K was an important part of their morning ritual as well as their complete breakfast. It served to remind him of just how special he really was while at the same time reminding him that he must at times lower himself to do things not of his standard in order to appreciate that specialness.

Atobe did not truly think there were a good many things worthy enough to claim such an association-but certainly a nutritional product aimed at people who wanted to better themselves in his image was creditable enough. Truly, it was a generous sacrifice on his part to support these people.

"Great taste never looked so good." It was commendable that the advertising company came up with such an appropriate slogan. They must have had the privilege of seeing him in person at some point and undoubtedly had fallen victim to his beauty like so many before them.

"Look good on your own terms," another fine slogan and yet another keen example of sheer brilliance. Perhaps some of his incredible insight had rubbed off on them as well. Though the poor peasants would of course aspire to his magnificence, it would be a cruel thing to tell them they could not actually reach his level of perfection, which explained why neither his form nor face were pictured on the box. In any case, there was no need to flaunt such perfection since it was so exceptionally obvious. However, it was a shame they had only been able to use but one letter of his name in the title, though any more may have been too much for those poor weak-minded self-helper shoppers to handle.

He was even gracious enough to present a box to all of his tennis team regulars. Though he knew none of them could fully appreciate his munificence.

"Atobe! Atobe! We're having Special Keigo for breakfast today again, right?" Jiro, his ever-hyper and at other times narcoleptic teammate, gushed at the breakfast table during a team excursion to his summer cottage.

He admittedly always had a small soft spot for his singles two player, one of the few whom demonstrated proper respect and awe at his inspiring prowess, while other less cultured individuals at the table had the audacity to look aghast. As if they didn't already know.

He smirked and snapped his fingers for the cereal and milk to be presented to his at times endearingly astute volley specialist. "Help Yourself."

* * *

Kellogg's tag slogans:

"Great taste never looked so good."

"Look good on your own terms."

"Help Yourself."


	4. Lucky Charms

Characters: Minami Kentarou & Sengoku Kiyosumi

Disclaimer:

"Prince of Tennis" belongs to Konomi-sensei.

"Lucky Charms" is a brand of breakfast cereal owned by General Mills.

* * *

 **Lucky Charms**

He'd discovered the secret! After so long, the hidden weapon that had been cleverly concealed all this time had been revealed! Just yesterday, right before morning tennis practice was supposed to start, Minami Kentarou had walked into the locker room to find his missing teammate, Sengoku Kiyosumi, chowing down on handfuls of some unknown substance.

"Minami! Sorry, man! I totally slept through my alarm clock, but I still made it barely on time. LUCKYYYYY! I almost didn't have time for me Lucky Charms!" So saying, he held up the bag of colorful sugary confections.

"Your what?" Minami asked, confused.

"My Lucky Charms! With pink hearts, orange stars, yellow moons, green clovers, blue diamonds, and purple horseshoes! And new red balloons!" his friend recited with the child-like glee he usually reserved for the ladies.

"…do they really work?" he asked, skeptically.

Minami, of course, was a practical person and had done his research on all sorts of good luck devices. He bought many good luck charms at multiple temples and shrines, hoping to improve his own luck. He'd even looked outside of Japan; always choosing the number eight, since it was a lucky number according to China, and he carried around a rabbit's foot and fish scale from America and Russia respectively. As of yet, he'd not found an Irish leprechaun or Scandinavian troll, but he was still looking. This was the first time he'd heard of a charm you could ingest as well.

"They're magically delicious!" Sengoku adamantly announced, making Minami's world spin with this new found knowledge. They were magical? Was this how Sengoku received his seemingly unlimited amount of luck?

He nodded mutely and waited patiently for Sengoku to finish his "Lucky Charms" so he could join them at practice, his brain still turning with the possibilities…

Now, Minami was not normally a sneaky person. In fact, there was nothing about him that made him stand out in any way, especially when compared to most of his teammates. Indeed, he was so "normal" that he was usually pushed to the side and overlooked to the point that most people forgot he even existed. Oh, and he was the captain of the Yamabuki tennis team, in case you didn't know.

Peeking around a locker with apprehension, Minami looked with wide eyes in every direction to see if anyone else had arrived yet. Seeing the coast was clear, he warily but purposefully approached Sengoku's locker.

If only the others knew. Oh, he remembered the days when he'd only known Sengoku as his reliable teammate that, although slept through classes and constantly was distracted from practice by girls, brought his happy-go-lucky attitude and charm to the team. How could Sengoku not share his secret with his teammates? This was why he was Buchou (even if no one ever remembered), because he would never leave a teammate behind!

He glanced with trepidation towards the door. It was now only a few minutes before the others would start arriving. With a nervous inhale and large gulp of air, he committed the illegal act of opening his teammate's locker with the intent to steal his Lucky Charms.

Metal scraped loudly against metal as the locker creaked open, much louder than he remembered a locker ever being. Amidst the photos of women, tennis players, and tennis gear, he found the clear bag filled with the questionable contents. He would of course return them after he had thoroughly examined them.

How could a bag of such colorful edible hearts, stars, horseshoes, clovers, moons, pots of gold, rainbows, and balloons, which looked suspiciously like a breakfast cereal, be good luck? WAIT! How could he be so blind? Those were all good luck symbols! Cleverly hidden by a coating of sugar more intense than a bag of Christmas ginger snaps.

Curiosity and excitement mounted as he opened the bag and reached in to sample a bite of teeth decaying luck, but just when he thought he could finally have his first taste, the doors swung open.

There he was, skipping his way merrily towards him with a large grin on his face. "Wow! I'm one of the first here today! LUCKYYYYY! Hey, Minami, what are you…." Sengoku's happy face froze and turned to that of dread as Minami's own took on the look of a deer caught in headlights.

Before he could blink, the orange-headed boy had grabbed his bag of Lucky Charms from Minami's numb fingers and ran screaming from the room.

"NOOOOO! HE'S AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS!"

It wasn't until a few weeks later that Sengoku would even come close to him again, let alone look at him. Of course, by then he had already done his research on the supposed "Lucky Charms," which were in fact nothing more than an American breakfast cereal. At least this explained how Sengoku always managed to sleep through his first classes. The sugar high the cereal put him on was astounding, the resulting sugar crash even more so.

He'd tried to apologize to his overly paranoid teammate, and being the good buchou that he was, attempted to reason with him against such an unhealthy breakfast choice.

"Sengoku… You do realize that Lucky Charms has little to no nutritional value. In fact, it was originally created by a man who got the idea by adding candy to his cereal. It was the first cereal to ever incorporate marshmallows, which of course now is a staple amongst children's cereals, but actually has no nutritional value whatsoever…"

All he would ever get in reply was some mumbling that sounded suspiciously like: "They're always after me Lucky Charms…"

Oh well, back to basics.

* * *

General Mill's tag slogans:

"They're Magically Delicious!"

"They're Always After Me Lucky Charms!"

"Pink Hearts, Orange Stars, Yellow Moons, Green Clovers, Blue Diamonds, and Purple Horse Shoes! And now with new Red Balloons."


	5. Frosted Flakes

  


Character: Kawamura Takashi

Disclaimer:

"Prince of Tennis" belongs to Konomi-sensei.

"Frosted Flakes" is a brand of breakfast cereal owned by Kellogg.

* * *

 **Frosted Flakes**

There has been much speculation amongst both rival teams and fangirls on how and where Kawamura Takashi first picked up his grammatically correct, yet publicly inappropriate, English phrases.

Some have theorized that perhaps the Kawamura family were fans of bad English television. Others have gossiped that it was a technique practiced and induced hypnotically by the team genius, Fuji Shuusuke, in order to help Taka conquer his usually shy habits. The more imaginative thinkers have even gone so far to suggest that, in a past life, he was an American WWE Wrestler.

No, the truth was so much simpler. None would have guessed that it stemmed from an old childhood fixation taken too far and drawn out for much too long.

"Frosted Flakes" or, as they are known in Japan, "Corn Frosties" are a favorite breakfast cereal of children all around the world. But it's not always the cereal itself that draws the kiddies in. It's not the sweet, crunchy cereal packed with ten essential vitamins and good-for-you grains that give you the great tasting energy you need. No, it's Tony.

Tony isn't just any old cereal mascot, he's a fucking TIGER. With his large muscles and manly stance, not to mention those handsome striped sideburns… What isn't there to emulate? And if Tony said those frosted grains would bring out the tiger him in, then super-de-duper!

As a young child striving to be the best he could be in a tough sport like martial arts, starting your day off with good old Tony encouraging him saying, "Earn your stripes!" or "Give every morning a gr-r-reat start!" was a gr-r-reat way to get a positive mood going.

Soon after, when he met his good friend and rival, Akutsu Jin, the phrase "Never let the tiger catch you!" gave him an all new understanding and respect in the wisdom of the tiger.

"It's what fuels you up so you can play, prep, and be your very best." Taka took these words to heart and all his hard work and loyalty finally paid off. Although there was a change in sport and the fine art of sushi to contend with, Tony would always hold a special place in Taka's heart. His devotion showed itself in many ways. With Tony's help, he was able to grow out his own handsome sideburns, build up his manly muscles, and in time, become the tiger of Seigaku's tennis team.

So, what must be learned from this, is not to make silly assumptions on how a person's style is developed, when there is a perfectly logical and statistically proven (dietary health-wise) reason. If you have any doubts, just ask the tiger... or Kawamura Takashi. Not only do Frosted Flakes have a gr-r-reat taste... They're more than good, they're GR-R-REATOOOOOOOOOOO!

Pass it on!

* * *

Kellog's tag slogans:

"They're more than good, They're great!"

"Bring out the tiger in you!"

"Earn your stripes!"

"Never let the tiger catch you!"

"Put a tiger on your team!"

"Pass it on!"

"Super-de-duper!"

"A Gr-r-reat Taste"

"Give every morning a gr-r-reat start!"

  



	6. Kix

Characters: Amane Hikaru & Kurobane Harukaze

Disclaimer:

"Prince of Tennis" belongs to Konomi-sensei.

"Kix" is a brand of breakfast cereal owned by General Mills.

* * *

 **Kix**

It was a typical morning.

"Bane-san," Amane Hikaru, better known as 'Davide,' said in a low serious voice to his friend and doubles partner, Kurobane Harukaze, who was sitting across the table. "What are you doing?"

"Reading the paper and eating my Kix," Kurobane answered back casually, and took another bite of his "kids tested, mother approved" breakfast.

"Are you getting a _'kick'_ out of it? …pft."

Not bothering to look up from the sports section of his morning newspaper, Kurobane kicked his friend under the table.

"Ouch. I'm not asking just for _'kix_.'"

Kurobane kicked him under the table again, harder, and then asked his friend jovially, "Would you like a bowl?"

Dabide's eyes glistened, though his face remained placid. "A bowl?" He stood and struck a mighty pose. "You want to go ' _bowl'-_ ing?"

Kurobane's eye twitched and the newspaper crinkled ever so slightly where he was gripping it. "I meant a bowl of cereal, to eat, dumbass."

Dabide's eyes grew wide in mock horror. "I'm not a _'cereal'_ killer… pft."

Kurobane reached over the table and beat him over the head with his newspaper.

Rubbing his poor head, Dabide mumbled, "They say a good breakfast is hard to beat… pft."

Kurobane stood, and shook his fist in an intimidating manner. "I'm going to beat your _ass_ if you don't shut up and let me finish my cereal!"

Blessed silence reigned for the moment.

Kurobane shook his head and was about to sit again when suddenly his doubles partner had his arms wrapped around him and was hugging him from behind.

"What are you doing, idiot?"

"You can't finish your cereal without a spoon."

It was a typical morning.

 _KIX: Bane-san Tested, Davide Approved._

* * *

General Mill's tag slogans:

"Kid Tested, Mother Approved."

"A good Kix breakfast, it's hard to beat."


End file.
